Technology, Empathy and The Art of Conversation in Conflict Resolution

Advances in technology have revolutionized the way we communicate and, to a large extent, relegated face-time to the virtual world. We rely on our devices – computers, tablets, smartphones – to communicate. Texting, emailing and posting content to social media is the norm for day-to-day communication in our personal and professional lives. But, while technology offers us the ability to connect with people faster and, perhaps, more efficiently, do these benefits come at a significant cost?
 
I was intrigued by Jonathan Franzen’s recent review of a book titled Reclaiming Conversation: The Power of Talk in the Digital Age written by MIT professor Sherry Turkle. The review explores Turkle’s thesis: “Our rapturous submission to digital technology has led to an atrophying of human capacities like empathy and self-reflection.” Turkle proposes that the current generation, with its over-dependence on communicating through electronic devices, is losing the ability to engage in meaningful human interaction. The review cites a recent study that shows a steep decline in empathy, as measured by standard psychological tests, among college students of the smartphone generation.
 
My last post highlighted some benefits of in-person mediation, with one of the greatest being the opportunity for parties to interact on a human level, to solve fundamentally human conflicts. Success at the mediation table depends on good communication, and the ability to empathize is a critical communication tool. Disputants that can walk a mile in their counterpart’s shoes will be far more inclined to engage in meaningful dialogue that addresses underlying needs and forms the foundation for a responsive resolution. 
 
We often hear that in western society more than 80% of communication occurs through body language and other non-verbal cues, including eye contact, facial expression, inflexion and tone. And, Turkle suggests that in-person conversation helps us recognize the full human reality of others, which is the starting point for empathy. But, with our increased reliance on digital technology to communicate, are we losing the ability to empathize and read non-verbal cues? Might this reliance lead to apprehension to engage in face-to-face dialogue? Will we even have the needed skills to engage in meaningful conversation when the opportunity presents?
 
Turkle declares that “the time has come to reassert ourselves, behave like adults and put technology in its place.” I embrace this challenge, and believe we could all benefit from taking even a small step back from technology. It is our responsibility to reclaim conversation and make the most of opportunities to connect. Human communication is ultimately about engagement. This means making the time to put our smartphones away, and practicing the art of conversation, as it is meant to be. I have no doubt this practice can help us in our day-to-day lives, and at the mediation table.
 
Hopefully, I’ve given you something to start talking about.