How to Be Better Prepared for Conflict
Frequently in mediation the parties and their counsel prefer to mediate through caucusing. It could be to save time (face-to-face mediation can take longer); but, in my experience, this preference may reflect something else: a desire for refuge due to discomfort with conflict. Conversations around financial loss, betrayal or disppointment can be difficult and emotionally draining.
Mediation is an effective goal-oriented process that is focussed primarily on achieving the settlement of disputes. But, mediation is not geared to assisting parties in effecting a behavioural change in the way they approach and handle conflict. That's where "conflict coaching", also referred to as "conflict management coaching", comes in.
On February 27, 2012 I attended an OBA-ADR Section sponsored dinner meeting on conflict coaching, held in Toronto .
Robin Dodokin, a partner with the law firm Garfinkle Biderman LLP, moderated the program. Robin put together a panel comprised of Cinnie Noble, Jeff Morris and Rhonda Smith. All four are lawyers, mediators and conflict coaches, each with varying degrees of training and experience in the field of conflict coaching.
Conflict coaching is an emerging niche in the growing feld of professional coaching. Conflict coaches provide one-on-one support , advice and encouragement (usually in one-hour chunks of time) to assist people in engaging in conflict resolution with greater confidence, self-awareness and success.
It is another skill set that can be used by lawyers, mediators and other dispute resolution professionals in their work with clients to achieve a deeper understanding of their stories and behaviours when faced with conflict, to elicit more of the real story and clarity about what's really important, and to achieve better and more lasting outcomes. It's also something we could all use as human beings to enhance our ability to engage in all conflict - personal or professional - more productively.
For more information about conflict coaching and opportunities for specialized training in the field, visit: www.cinergycoaching.com, www.mediate.com/articles/AmadeiR1.cfm, www.coachfederation.org/and www.coachu.com/.
